Ok this will not be an easy one to write but nevertheless I thought I will give it a shot cos I am truly inspired after my fruitless efforts. You know what is that one thing to buy during this time of the year that totally freaks me out & throws me into a mental depression of sorts – “a swimsuit”. It’s an absolute “moment of truth” MOMENT for me & I am sure for many of you out there but what to do – it IS kind of essential. Right!! Else how are you supposed to enjoy your vacations especially if its to some exotic beachy location.
Well, I am very experienced in this department in the sense that you see I without fail buy one every year with this undying hope in my heart that this year I have worked my ass off on this body so I am definitely gonna look sexy but believe you me it is such a disaster each year every year that I want to scream my guts out and kill myself. Cos there I am thinking Miranda Kerr and Doutzen Kroes and Priyanka Chopra looking hot and svelte in their bikinis & here I am struggling to get inside this freakin one piece suit fearing that I might tear it apart in this pursuit to get into one. No No there is no thought as ” Love your body” & “Every body is beautiful”crossing my mind at that time. All logic out of the window. To hell with that guys I am almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown here.
However can I offer you tips – Hell yeah!! After all experience does make you wiser so here are some words from the wise for those who are sulking like me. Pay due attention:
1. Buy a solid & dark color – Black , Navy, Dark Brown, purple are your BFF girls
Needless to say I have this one full drawer dedicated to swim wear that I have collected over the years. YET you will most often see me in this very humble & basic Adidas swimsuit cos one it is BLACK so gives a false impression of being slimmer (atleast that’s what I would like to believe, I am sure my friends are very kind & have not shown me the mirror yet) & secondly it’s just one color all over which kind of avoids drawing attention to any one part of my beautiful (can u hear my sarcastic laugh) body.
2. Accentuate the best part of your body
If you have sexy shoulders but you are bottom heavy buy a pair that accentuates your shoulders like a halter neck or even a tube kinds. There are some that kind of flare at the bottom and give a very sexy shape to the body. You could go for those.
If you are top heavy try then avoid drawing attention towards your cleavage (unless u want to but in a kind of sexy way) and look for something that has a square neck which will kind of complement your chest perfectly.
3. Who says you can’t wear 2 piece?
If you aren’t comfortable with a bikini which I am absolutely not. Try a Tankini. It’s like wearing a tank top with the bottoms. Looks chic and covers up your belly nicely. For God’s sake do not try and go OTT with it. Just stick to a tank top and bottoms. Puhleeeeaaaaseeee Do NOT wear tights or a skirt and then tights under it.
4. Whatever the case may be please REFRAIN from buying Outlandish “long frocks with cycling shorts” kind.
Girls it is better not to swim that be caught in those. I have seen many women wearing that kind and I get sick in my stomach when I see them. Why would you do that to yourself. Is getting in the water more important than looking like a clown???
5. Feed your ego
Ok a trick that works.. It’s a cheat trick
Start by taking bigger than your normal size in the fitting room & then pop out your head from the dressing room and shout and ask for 2 sizes smaller. Ah! Twisted I knoooowww but believe you me it is much better than asking 2 sizes bigger
6. Cover it up sexy
This is one piece of advice that I have learnt over the years with my umpteen number of horrific experiences so I am gladly passing it down to you. Buy a sexy cover up for your not so sexy swimwear. Hunt and I mean really hunt for a sexy cover up (I do not mean a sarong I hate those & everyone can’t carry them) Trust me you can even rock a bikini under it without looking out of place. Psssst.. that’s my plan this summer.
6. Glam it up
Babe you got to glam it up with some sexy beach bag, flip flops, hat… the works and yes NEVER forget your oversized sun glasses.
I know the humidity will ultimately kill it but try and get some volume in your hair before hitting the beach.. It works.
7. Friend in need is a friend indeed
Take a friend along with you (avoid a boyfriend or your husband) cos hell no they dare not tell you how awful or uninspiring you are looking. Poor guys don’t have the right to say the truth
Yes so take a real friend (again do not take a Priyanka Chopra/ Deepika Padukone/Gisele Bundchen friend) . The reasons are more than obvious. Take someone who will be supportive when you do not fit into a S size and order for an M. Someone who looks the other side when you say “oh shit even M doesn’t fit ” and order an L or an XL instead of making you look like a crap and saying “oh honey its alright let me try an XS” You know what I mean. And obviously the friend has to be dependent enough for you to let him / her make a decision. After all it’s your love affair with your body so you better be careful whom u letting in.
It’s difficult but happy thoughts might just help so crank up a little Selena Gomez & sing to urself
“Who says, who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?”
In the end I am sure you will have a hard time looking for the one that makes you look perfect but trust me unless you totally decide to starve yourselves there is no way this will turn out to be a delightful experience so just suck it in and keep trying. You will find the one else look out for a new one next year with a new HOPE
Hey, let me know if this article helped you at all or was it just another blab from my end
Happy Summers Girls